God's Word For You is a free Bible Study site committed to bringing you studies firmly grounded in the Bible – the Word of God. Holding a reformed, conservative, evangelical perspective this site affirms that God has provided in Jesus Christ his eternal Son, a way of salvation in which we can live in his presence guilt free, acquitted and at peace.

 
 

REAL LOVE

In Romans 12:9 – 21 Paul teaches us what real love looks like. He says ‘Love must be sincere.’ The word Paul used is ‘unhypocritical.’

Just as, in 12:8, our giving is to be generous, just as our leading is to be diligent, our mercy is to be cheerful, so our love is to be real.

Real love.

Not love put on as a mask.
Not love that expects reward.
Not love that looks for praise.

Real love.

Love that comes from a heart and mind overwhelmed and empowered by the love of God.

Love that has no need for reward because it has in Christ been blessed already with every spiritual blessing.

Love that exists without the praise of other humans because it is totally confident of God’s love and acceptance.

Because we are in Christ, saved by grace, knowing our present relationship with God is not based on our performance, our love for our neighbour can be real. We do not love our neighbour in order gain or maintain our own good standing in God's sight, or to appease our own conscience, or to impress our church group, or even to impress the neighbour. Rather we have been liberated by the Gospel of grace to love spontaneously and freely without any self-centred thought of what we might receive from God or others or ourselves as a reward. We love, not to gain God’s love, but because we already have God’s love. We are free to obey God's command to love with his glory, and our neighbour’s benefit, in mind, not our own. That is sincere love.

What does this real love look like? What does it do? Paul explains that if we love with real love:

We will hate what is evil and cling to what is good.

We will be devoted to our fellow believers.

We will honour others above ourselves.

We will not let our enthusiasm in serving the Lord grow cold.

We will be joyful, patient and faithful in prayer, regardless of the circumstances.

We will be generous and hospitable.

We will bless and pray for those who do us harm.

We will empathize with both the joyful and the sad.

We will live in harmony with each other.

We will not let pride interfere in our relationships with other believers.

We will, wherever possible, endeavour not to offend anyone.

We will, wherever possible, endeavour to live at peace with everyone.

We will not seek revenge; on the contrary, we will shower our ‘enemy’ with kindness.

We will not allow evil to overpower us, but will overpower evil with good.

But does loving, even with real love, always have a good outcome? Paul’s words in verse 18 are instructive and insightful:

‘If it is possible, as far as it depends on you ...’

Paul knows, and the Lord Jesus knows, that sometimes, no matter how much you love, the other person does not see the love and does not receive the love. Sometimes even the clearest expression of love is scorned, rejected and even misunderstood. And trouble follows.

But real love keeps on loving. Just like Jesus (John 13:1).

[A cautionary note: The above statement does not mean that we should remain in life-threatening situations. Jesus on several occasions withdrew from threatening situations. He commanded his disciples to similarly withdraw when they were not welcome. And Paul repeatedly left situations of danger.]

© Rosemary Bardsley 2020